Grandson stands across the room filled
stands future lights eyes bright within
across lights from ancestors generations shine
the eyes ancestors dreamed embodied now
room bright generations embodied in him
filled within shine now him alight
I would write the poem like this:
Grandson stands across the room, filled,
stands, future lights eyes bright within,
across lights from ancestors generations shine,
the eyes ancestors dreamed embodied now,
room bright, generations embodied in him
filled within, shine now, him alight.
This came in response to a prompt from dVerse Poets for a square poem, which has the same number of words as lines and reads the same across and down. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline by two hours since I have my grandson visiting me in Italy from Trinidad for the first time by himself and he keeps me busy. Plus it was a difficult type of poem to write. But todays prompt is button (hosted by Brian) and my grandson's cute as a button so I'll submit it under that guise and hope for latitude!
oh my...he def. IS cute as a button...and you even combined two prompts..i like the light from ancestor generations shining in his eyes...have a wonderful time with your grandson..
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia. With him I really think about his ancestors existing to produce him, especially because of the rich diversity he carries. I'm having a wonderful time!
Deletehaha i will let you slide...because he is cute as a button...trinidad, had some great friends from there...and nice job on the square poem...you worked the form and with some great touches....claudia pointed out my fav part as well...
ReplyDeleteHis Dad is a Trini (from the rain forest) so I've had some great visits. That square poem was difficult but a good challenge. Thanks.
DeleteVery cool poem, and a very cute grandson!
ReplyDeleteGrazie on both counts.
DeleteGorgeous grandson, good poem :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with the first and thank you for the second. I had fun.
Deletehe is cute as a button, nice job doing two prompts in one
ReplyDelete3 radio button senryu
Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteCongratulations on a lovely poem and glorious grandson!
ReplyDeleteThis is a big step for him to come so far from his family but we're treasuring the moments.
DeleteHe is truly cute as a button. Thank you for sharing him, even if you were a bit late it was a great effort!
ReplyDeleteI'm getting to know even more about his personality since he's here alone. He amazes me.
DeleteWhat a gorgeous kid!
ReplyDeleteI agree- but he doesn't know it yet so he's darling.
DeleteThis form is challenging.Good job with the form and combining the two prompts:)cute kid!
ReplyDeleteIt was a new form for me and I found it fascinating if hard.
DeleteWhoa! you fitted a round button into a square poem!
ReplyDeleteHe certainly is a deserving subject, I can imagine the fun you are having.
Nine, almost ten, year olds are great fun!
DeleteAnd you got him to smile at the camera! Huzzah! That one needs to be framed!
ReplyDeleteEvery once in a rare while! It came out great though.
DeleteThat is one handsome young man!
ReplyDeleteThe apple of my eye.
DeleteNice square poem ~ And yes, he is cute as a button ~ Enjoy your time with the family ~
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying it for sure!
DeleteYou know all about the beautiful babies growing up!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking back to a time a couple of years ago when you said you couldn't write poetry. And now look at you. Well done.
ReplyDeleteIt helps to just do it, so I appreciate the prompts, and the feedback!
DeleteI think you should get kudos, not latitude, for fulfilling two prompts with one piece. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteThanks, I live in Italy and the 6-9 hour time difference has meant I've missed the deadline before. But this time I just went ahead under the new prompt!
DeleteWhat a fun poem to read. He is such a beautiful boy. Good luck getting the ruby dragon, by the way!
ReplyDeleteWe're having a good time together. I'll start the ruby dragon breeding today with chrome+scorch. Then go for rare hybrid eggs to display. It's fun, isn't it?
DeleteBTW, my grandson got the ruby dragon on the first attempt! But on his D'Vale!
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