It was a sweet thing of a still morning,
river-oaks whispering, white birds
roosting in the trees like so much washing.
The land stood upside down in dimply green water,
a shiny morning, the river with a brush of wind
that sent handfuls of sparkles across the water.
Boats sliding up fast if tide was with them
to the reedy place where the First Branch
wound down among the hills.
That country was full of overhangs
where soft yellow rock big enough
to stand in were full of light the color of honey.
You could sit there and watch the breeze
shivering through the leaves, the river beyond
a band of color like a muscle.
When you sit in the rock the bush sounds
come to you sharper, like a big ear, listening.
The birds were company enough.
Taken from the book I just finished reading, Sarah Thornhill, by Kate Grenville by erasing all but the above from the first chapter and rearranging the order. It's a harshly beautiful book that often reads like poetry of a girl coming of age in Australia. This Erasure Poetry, a form of found poetry, is a prompt from Anna at dVerse Poets Pub for Meeting the Bar. She lists some fascinating examples so check it out.
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ha...my comment got just eaten by blogger...
ReplyDeletelove the snapshot of nature in its wild and peaceful beauty... the river like a muscle...like this much...nice...
I love this book and got excited by the challenge of this poetry that I had never heard of before.
DeleteThe land stood upside down in dimply green water...ha i like that...love the connection with nature and just being in the moment in this...watching the breeze is a cool thought as well...nicely done ma'am
ReplyDeleteThanks, Brian. It is from the point of view of a young girl who is very perceptive and finding her own way. I liked her a lot.
DeleteI enjoyed your poem, and I have also written down the name of the book, as I am partial to reading about Australia, as I LOVE Australia.
ReplyDeleteShe has written other award winning books of Australia as well and is a lyrical writer.
DeleteFantastic job!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for stopping by today
My pleasure, I saw that Brian wrote his erasure poem in 55 words but then again he's awesome!
DeleteSuch a pretty poem. Lovely descriptions and feels very coherent. K.
ReplyDeleteHer descriptions were that way throughout the book- a pleasure to read.
DeleteI also thought the words "dimply green water" are fascinating. I guess I'm not along. Very interesting thing to do. I like the idea of "found poetry."
ReplyDeleteI'd never heard the phrase before but could picture just what it described. Also, I'd not heard of this form of poetry but her examples were fascinating.
DeleteJust gorgeous, a great meeting of minds, yours and hers. I love how you distilled the text and what remained unsaid was palpable. Thanks so much for joining us!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this- thanks for the prompt and the info about Erasure Poetry.
DeleteWOW. Beautifully done, Mar. When I was in my twenties I learned about a similar art form, "humuments" (from "human" and "documents") where one circled only certain words on a page and then created art around them: painting, collage, pastel, anything, and obscured the unchosen words. The result was a poem and an artwork on a page. I have some of mine around somewhere. I loved doing those and used to haunt old junk stores for books with interesting words and typefaces. Thanks for your extraordinary piece--it stands as poetry on its own!--and for reminding me of the humuments. Miss you. e
ReplyDeleteThere was a example similar to what you're describing, in the article about this poetry over at dVerse Poets. One of the women did art around circled words on a page. Lovely. Thanks for coming by and commenting- always good to hear from you.
DeleteVisiting a second time.....Sometimes when people combine prompts the result ends up really weakly fitting each prompt; but in your case I think you did a wonderful job with your poem of deep 'connections' (thank you for participation in my prompt, by the way), deep roots. This time I have written down the name of the book it came from. Smiles! And you are indeed lucky to have a happy marriage of 39 years!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mary, yours it's a topic that I'm passionate about so I took longer to formulate the poem. Enjoy the book.
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