November Weekend Update

How we do November here in Italy- the bougainvillea keeps blooming, the begonia which I cut back has sprung forward again and I replaced the fall decor with the winter decor despite all this and then celebrated the change by having friends over for dinner. The moon eclipsed, the air is slightly colder at night which makes it nice for running in the morning, the last of our hot peppers have been harvested.

We're back with our splendid Italian tutor after a break while traveling and today I read an article in Italian and summarized it. The article described a French movie, Amour, which tells the story of a couple in their 80s and their struggles as the wife has a series of strokes and develops dementia, won at the Cannes Film Festival and is now on my must see list. Check it out.

Finally, I'm reading a wonderful book by Carolyn G. Heilbrun- The Last Gift of Time, Life Beyond Sixty. I somehow missed it up to now although it was published in 1997. It's one of those books that I can't wait to open in the morning and then re-read passages because of the sheer pleasure of how she writes. Is there anything lovelier than good writing?  She gives her perspective as a woman in her 70s  on aging and its rewards. Gorgeous, grown up stuff.

This morning it started to rain. The chives caught the first drops.

Today's Laugh

Sometimes it's the little daily things that bring the best laughs. Like today. My neighbors for the most part don't speak English or speak very little. However, they get great enjoyment in proudly saying their few words to me or my husband whenever possible. Today, it's the birthday of one such neighbor. "Buon compleanno" we wished him. His face lit up! "Merry Christmas" he said confidently. "Happy birthday" we countered but chuckled throughout the day at his translation.

I wonder what we're saying that has our neighbors chuckling at us? Reminds me that it's good to not take myself too seriously and to go ahead and make mistakes. It gives the neighbors a good laugh!



The day is fine: the sea from our balcony in our neighborhood in our little corner of the world.

What's making you smile today?

10 Simple Joys

Loving life's simple things today:

1. Ate strawberries from our own plant, sweet and delicious.
2. Measured the tomato plants (23 inches so far).
3. Welcomed 3 lovely new family members- rose, jasmine and lavender.
4. Finished a book that warmed my heart: "I Heard the Owl Call My Name" by Margaret Craven.
5. Cherished memories from yesterday's talk with my daughter and grandchildren.
6. Studied Italian and found a fun word game Italians play which will increase my vocabulary.
7. Agreed to help a friend finish a fun craft project.
8. Sat in the sunshine and enjoyed it.
9. Read a Rumi poem here.
10. Realized again the importance of gratitude.

It is a good day.

Spring Intoxication

Now, this is what I'm talking about! Sat on my balcony today, took in the view and studied Italian in my short sleeves - even spent extra study time, because, why not? Temps in upper 60's, my neighbor and I, my husband and I, all giddy with spring, planning trips galore to explore our surroundings. Met a family a few doors down the hill from us who have the most adorable 6 year old girl who asked me to mentor her and her 9 year old brother in English once they are out of school in June. Sure, said I. We'll swap services and they can mentor me in Italian! Another couple I went to visit today are bilingual and the conversation was an easy mix of English and Italian. Makes me yearn for fluency and motivated me mightily. Spring brings such energy and hope and all out joy!

Suncatchers, Pansies and Celtic Goddesses

This post has no cohesive theme except the random things that are happening in my world these days. Spring is so sprung right now and it puts me in such a great mood. Relishing simple things like re-potting geraniums and begonias and rosemary, mint, chives, oregano, thyme and parsley in the sunshine, walking hand in hand with my husband in the sunshine, reading poetry on the balcony in the sunshine, even hanging a sun catcher with millions of little mirrors that spin around and throw sparkles everywhere. It lifted my spirits to do these things and brought me back to the now where all the good things are happening. it is indeed the present.

My neighbor was out planting pansies and sprucing up his garden so I asked him to be my language buddy and converse with me in Italian. What better indicator could I use to choose? I've taken the suggestions I received about learning Italian to heart and am grateful for them! I feel more hopeful. And I went to Rigoletto the other night. Listening to opera in Italian was great because they say each word more slowly so I understand more. Then my friend wrote today and also recommended listening to music but for a different reason: because music enters into the right side of the brain and allows a deeper and quicker integration of the language. We have many beautiful Italian songs so that's gladly on my daily to do list as well!

Lastly, I came across a wonderful quote about crones in Frank MacEowen's book "The Spiral of Memory and Belonging":
"In contrast to these modern usages, the words 'crone' and 'cailleach' were traditionally associated with healing, wisdom, initiation into the ways of the Otherworld, and the stirring mysteries of the earth. The crone, sometimes appearing as the dark goddess, is the keeper of hidden knowledge and is considered a guardian."

Healing, wisdom, initiation, mysteries of the earth! Doesn't that sound luscious? Made me sad at how far we older women have separated from this powerful place of ancient knowledge and energy. But it also inspired me to continue to seek ways to reclaim this role which our culture sorely needs but is so afraid of. Initiatory energy reminded me of the importance of mentoring younger women. I'm doing this with my daughter and 8 nieces when we gather together each year to grow individually and support one another. What are others doing? Let's talk!

Overcoming Inertia

I'm on a tear this week! I've cleaned my closets, drawers, office, including the files and took out every pile that I had accumulated! I'm doing a cleansing fast too- juices and fruits. Trying to let go of the physical, emotional and, hopefully, spiritual barnacles that have also accumulated. The months of travel are over for now and I want to refocus on being here in Italy. Why I'm here, what is the next step, what's important just now?

I restarted Italian language lessons in earnest. Job 1 is to get beyond basics and be able to converse easily on any topic that comes up. I'm doing a combination of Rosetta Stone, Italian for Dummies, and online vocabulary and grammar builder. There seemed to be so many other priorities up to now but now this has risen to the top priority. All else is in place and reasonable order. I'm surprised at how much discipline it takes since language acquisition doesn't come easily to me. And I have a goal- be reasonably good by the time my daughter and grandchildren come to Italy for the month of August. Now I've declared it!

What does language study have to do with a cleansing fast? I'm actually not sure but both are at least in part about letting go of the unimportant and focusing on the essential. Communication on a deeper level is bedrock important to further growth of any kind, and communication in Italy means fluency in Italian! It's such a beautiful language, so what's my reluctance? I vacillate between "I should, I must, I WANT to" and "It's hard, my brain is old, I already have a rich language that I'm good at". Wah, wah, wah! I've grown tired of myself and I'm ready to accept the obvious- hey, you moved to Italy, so shut up and learn the language already!

Wish me luck. Any suggestions?
(The photo is from our balcony.)

It's In Hand!

We have our Permesso di Soggiorno! Only 5 months from the time we applied. It is the official "permission" to stay in Italy, in our case as elective residents. It gives us what we need to apply for our residency through our town which is the final, final thing we need to be residents of Italy. Hooray! It gives us status, eligibility for the health care system and a sense that we now belong. All good things.
We got it with a lot of help from a lot of people (you know who you are but a special THANKS to Emily and Enzo, our mentors, guardian angels and all around good buddies!).
You have to rely more on friends when in a foreign country and thus operating out of your usual knowledge/comfort zone. It's humbling but I think it's important learning for me in this life phase.
I'm reading "The Second Half of Life" by Angeles Arrien, subtitled "Opening The Eight Gates of Wisdom". The first gate heralds the mystery of a new beginning or adventure and offers an opportunity to reexamine the wisdom we have gathered over time. I'm loving this book! In her questions for reflection after the first chapter, Angeles asks where we experience the spirit of fluency in our lives. She uses that word: fluency! Right away I thought about the fact that I'm learning a new language and feeling very unfluent. But I got excited that this process of learning Italian will teach me vital things about myself and the spirit of fluency in my life. I really needed this insight to motivate me just now to be a fluent Italian speaker.

Comfort Zone

"Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone."
I'm there, at the edge of my comfort zone. And, of course, it's uncomfortable. Everything is okay until something goes a little haywire and I worry how I will explain it or how it will get resolved or if it will. I'm the outsider here in this different culture with it's different mores and different language that I'm just learning.
So far, things have gone well and everything has been settled as it needs to be. (Wow, it's powerful to see that in print.) Then why am I concerned? I think it's about this vague but very real lack of comfort that comes with being, well, at the edge of my comfort zone.
I don't know any way around this. Other than to stay in the present, remind myself of the truth of how things have gone and be grateful for what is. I espouse the values of the Damanhur community in Turin, Italy: sensitivity, optimism and friendship. I have the opportunity to live these out here in Italy on this new journey. These are important things to learn out here at the edge. Maybe this is the best place to learn them.

Differences

Things I'm getting used to:
1. No clothes driers (they use too much electricity): Clothes get hung out to dry. It poses a little problem when living in an apartment since the (small) balcony is the only place to put the clothes rack. But, that's what I do. Of course, everyone else does too so it's just understood that's it okay to have your personals flapping in the breeze for all the world to see. In apartments with no balconies clothes are hung out the window. It's a common sight and a good use of all the sunshine we have.
2. Small refrigerators: food shopping is done daily or every other day in order to have what's freshest and in season. Fresh produce drives the menu. No need for gigantic fridges (they use too much electricity) and freezers. Open markets abound making local food readily available.
3. Bread boxes: bread is also bought fresh daily. Even the local chain supermarket bakes bread every day and puts it, fresh and crisp, in about 25 bins to be chosen by shoppers and cut to order by the woman who holds up large loaves like a hawker. It's always the longest line in the market.
4. Stores close daily at 12 or 1 until 4pm: it calls for an entirely different time management system to juggle this fact. I'm still figuring this one out and it catches me short more times than not.
5. Ditto eating dinner so much later and trying to get 8 hours of sleep and still be able to run early since it's so hot during the summer. Don't know how people who work do it either!
6. Making time each day to study Italian and still feel like such a novice in its use. It's just odd (and frustrating and sometimes isolating) to have a primary language and not be able to use it with most people.
7. Deciding what to do each day when work is not the organizing factor. The search for meaning in this new life phase is ongoing.
8. Distance from loved ones: I'm trying new things to keep in touch- regular emails to the grandkids as well as my daughter, facebook presence, blogs and blog reading, SKYPE, longer vacations when we get together. Any other suggestions?
9. The sheer beauty of where we live. It takes me by surprise on a regular basis.

International Evening

It was a simple invitation- "come to dinner" from a couple that we had met at our friends house and liked immediately. You know the kind- warm, friendly and interesting. So we went. Dinner was served outside since the weather has been warm (hot during the day!). Their garden was lovely and fragrant and the night air soft. Their hospitality was gracious- focused but fun.
What was amazing was the mix of people there. 2 Germans married to Italians, 5 native born Italians either spouses or boy/girlfriends of people of other nationalities, an Italian born and brought up in South Africa but now living here and married to an Italian, their 2 young adult children born in South Africa and now living in Italy, an adult child of the host couple who is Italian living in England and trilingual (Italian, German, English), his English girlfriend, his 2 teenage children who live in England, 2 Americans (John and me) and 1 little boy who spoke to his mother and our hostess in German and his father and everyone else in Italian!
What a fabulous evening we spent! The travels, languages, perspectives, experiences of those present made for fascinating exchanges. The conversation was stimulating, of course, and good natured sharing and laughter ruled the night. It was one of those evenings I so enjoyed that I didn't want it to end (and, indeed, it was almost midnight before we left). As we talked and marveled afterwards, I realized that this sort of experience was one of the dreams I had in moving to Italy. I hoped for the mix of people and cultures present this evening, inspiring and enriching all. Surely this inter-nationality is the future of our species if we are to survive and we had a tantalizing taste now. It was good, deeply nourishing.

Improvements

Things did improve at school. A couple of days later, another student was talking about something funny that happened and we were all laughing and talking and I was understanding most of it. Gave me hope.
Now that school is over I still set aside time to study since I have so much to learn. Today I set a hair appointment over the phone and went to the bank to pay a bill all by myself. It felt really good! I couldn't go much further than what I rehearsed but I got the job done both times.
People are very forgiving and try to help when they see I'm not a native speaker. There's this certain oh- I -get- it- you- don't- speak- the- language look usually accompanied by a smile that comes over their face. They get so kind at that point. It touches my heart and it helps.
I'm reading the newspaper (dictionary in hand) and listening to the radio. There's a classical station where the announcers speak more slowly and clearly. Very useful for me- plus I love the music! Movies are next.

An Italian Moment

My dear friend of 22 years, Annee, has been visiting with a mutual friend, Richard, whom we met in Antigua. She wanted to find her grandmother's town, Santa Croce, in the next province of Molise to apply for her birth certificate. We're into having adventures so off we went with our map, Annee's newly acquired Italian language skills (from 3 weeks at school in Sienna) and our hope. With only one wrong turn, which ended us on a narrow dirt road where we met a nice young man who gave us directions, we came to a town close to her grandmother's and took a break to get caffé. In the town, 2 men argued about the best way to send us to Santa Croce di Magliano while we waited for our marching orders. Italians like a good argument and they were no exception! We followed the directions of the man who won and soon reached what turned out to be a good size town in this remote, rural province. Repairs are still being made on the damage made by an earthquake 7 years ago.
It's always a toss up whether or not places are going to be open after 12 so we hoped for the best as we located the Municipio at 1 pm. Well, it was open until 2 pm so Annee went in to meet Carlo to make application for the birth certificate. Carlo loved his work and took immediate interest in Annee's request since his mother had the same name as Annee's grandmother. "Hmmm, a curiosity" said he and went to work searching the large, hand written ledgers from the late 1800's. He not only found the right pertinent details but gave them to her then and there with his official seal. No application necessary- the real thing quickly and easily. She was walking on clouds as she came out with the precious document in hand and the memory of time with this helpful man. We had a picnic in her grandmother's town to celebrate and listen to the story.
John, in his sweetest and most generous self, suggested we go to Annee's grandfather's town 8 kilometers away since we were in the area. Anne was reluctant to ask this but was thrilled and off we went in search of another adventure.
When we got to Colletorto it was 3 pm and everything was closed up tight, including the Municipio. Scaffolding was everywhere from earthquake repairs in this town as well. Anne had resigned herself to just seeing his town as enough when we saw an open bar in the square. It had a gelato sign out front which caught my eye and I suggested we go there before our trip back (we've been doing serious gelato comparisons all over!). Anne tried out her language skills asking 2 local men about her cousin first and then her grandfather. She did great and they were talking animatedly in no time. After the mandatory argument between the 2 men, they told her not only was her grandfather's house still standing but that a distant cousin was living in it with his wife and it was a mere 300 meters from where we stood! "Go see it" they urged. Off we went and read the address labels on the mailboxes. Some were faded, however, and we couldn't find her grandfather's name which her cousin shared. We met a young man and asked him where the cousin lived. "I'll show you" and he pointed out #7. Annee rang the bell and a woman answered asking Anne who she was. When she heard about Annee's grandfather, her eyes filled with tears and she invited us all in.
Annee's Italian was put to the test as she told her story to Maria. Maria had been awakened from her mid-day nap and went to awaken her husband to tell him the amazing news of the visit of his distant cousin from America. Giovani is a retired teacher and was obviously thrilled at this rare event. We spent 2 hours sharing stories, history, language lessons, chocolates and making sweet memories not just for Annee and her cousins but for us as well. What a special thing to witness, be part of and get to treasure. Their gracious hospitality and warm, welcome was evident as just part of who they are. It ended in hugs and kisses and tears and thank yous all around. It was an Italian moment to be retold and savored for years to come.
It also made me realize the magic of being able to speak the language well and I signed up for intensive lessons myself!