When I
sing of you, I
will employ the wind, schooled
by wind to howl your praises, breathe
you in.
This is in response to Tony Maude over at dVerse Poets Pub who prompted us to write an American Cinquain of 2 syllables, followed by 4-6-8 then 2 again while staying mindful of ending words on each line. The phrase "employ the wind" came from a prompt by De Jackson at Imaginary Gardens with Real Toads on Wednesday who gave us a list of words and phrases from a botanical book. I liked this one. The photo is mine taken at a friend's house.
nice....really cool....love the nature element of the wind in this....and schooled by it to howl praises...lots of energy in a few lines...
ReplyDeleteA topic with lots of energy for me. And I loved that phrase.
Deletehope that your week is going well...smiles...
DeleteAh, this cinquain takes my breath away!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mary- well said!
Deleteoh nice...i want the wind to school me as well...howling praises...so very cool
ReplyDeleteDon't you just feel like that some times!
DeleteYou use the wind so effectively. I could have sworn I'd read a much longer poem, but I look again, and it's just 22 syllables. Magic!
ReplyDeleteThis started out being a poem of six stanzas but when I read the prompt I tried to distill it down to its essence.
DeleteGood job Mary. I love the idea of breathing an essence in. Whether human, nature, or spirit. And the praise and song that accompany the breath make a great poem.
ReplyDeleteHis essence is sweet to me. Thanks for your comment and for stopping by.
Delete,,,I just like 'when I sing of you'...nice ;)
ReplyDeleteIt was the phrase that immediately came to mind when I read the phrase 'employ the wind'.
Deleteschooled by wind to sing your praises... beautiful
ReplyDeleteThanks, Laurie.
DeleteI like the phrase, employ the wind ~ Good work on the form ~
ReplyDeleteGrace
Me too, and thank you.
DeleteGreat uses of languages here. Very vivid and imaginative.
ReplyDeleteThe form demands that since it allows so few words.
DeleteWonderful.
ReplyDeleteGrazie!
DeleteShivering tenderness ! Sincerely Deborah
ReplyDeleteDeepened by 39 years together.
DeleteJust lovely - really terrific. Much enjoyed. k.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words.
DeleteBeautiful and a nice combination of the two prompts.
ReplyDeleteOne really made the other possible. Maybe I should publish the longer poem that came first and used many of the words and phrases from de Jackson, but it primed the pump for sure.
DeleteOh, this is so romantic. :-) Very nice.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I like to challenge myself to say what I feel toward my Honey in poem form.
DeleteWow! superb....
ReplyDeleteThanks and thanks for coming by and commenting.
Delete"When I sing of you"... simply romantic!
ReplyDeleteLovers like to sing of their loved one.
Deletefull of romantic tension.
ReplyDeleteI hope so, thanks.
DeleteThis is a lovely cinquain. My only slight reservation is the close repetition of "wind". When I thought about it, I wondered about "wolf" instead, but that probably changes the mood too much. And that's what I love about this form - it really makes you focus on exactly what you want to say, and stretches you to try and find the best way of saying it.
ReplyDeleteI think you're on to something. I wrestled with it but couldn't come up with a word that I liked better and the wind does keep coming around. But I never thought of wolf, hmmm, Does it hold the theme while expanding on it? Maybe. I'm going to go say it out loud a few times to see. (I'm in the airport now for a day of travel to Ireland).
DeleteWolf is actually particularly apt sine it's my Honey's spirit guide. Hmmm.
At any rate, thanks for your thoughtful coment.
DeleteI...I.. schooled... breathe...in
ReplyDeleteIf we pay attention to the last word, it becomes a poem in itself and captures very well the self-absorbtion that is also part of being in love.
Yes, and trying to find the right words to say how I feel.
Deletedo like how you employed the word schooled... refreshing
ReplyDeleteIt's what I like about poetry- the unexpected word that makes me see something differently.
Deletethis is my favourite one so far...thankyou...
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteReally, really great!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sally. Glad you stopped in.
Delete