27 March 2013

What's Next?

Black clouds reach
down, obliterate the mountains first,
but surely just hidden; then
the hills, houses, trees. Thick
fog fingers? Then vineyards, groves, grass-
gone. One by one- gone. Acid
seeps into earth, dissolves all. Dark
ooze is left. It creeps
slowly towards me.
Am I...


This is in response to Mama Zen, the master of short poems, over at Imaginary Gardens with Real Toads to describe what we see out our window in 50 words or less but make it scary.
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28 comments:

  1. Charleen27 March, 2013 18:19

    I love how the narrator quite never finishes the poem, allowing the reader to imagine that they too are being consumed by the dark ooze.

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    1. Grandmother Mary27 March, 2013 18:46

      I had some fun with this prompt helped by our dark clouds and fog. Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  2. Kay L. Davies27 March, 2013 19:46

    Ooh, ooze. Seriously creepy stuff, and conjures up very Poe-like images. Well done.
    K

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  3. Maude Lynn27 March, 2013 20:17

    Oh, this is like a horror movie! Love it!

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    1. Grandmother Mary27 March, 2013 23:00

      That was the intention, right? Fun prompt, MZ.

      Delete
  4. LLM Calling27 March, 2013 21:04

    definitely scary

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  5. Unknown27 March, 2013 21:43

    Yipes! Great ending!

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  6. Brian Miller27 March, 2013 23:59

    eeep! run, get in the basement...scary stuff...ha...shortly after the oil spill i wrote a pseudo horror story about the rain...because the men cleaning up the spill were getting burned by the water...

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  7. DJan28 March, 2013 01:27

    Yep, that was scary. Creeping mud... :-)

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  8. Sabio Lantz28 March, 2013 02:11

    That was a sneaking up, suffocating creepy -- nicely done

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  9. Fireblossom28 March, 2013 02:12

    Leaving it to the imagination, I see!

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  10. Helen28 March, 2013 03:01

    'am I' .... this is one scary ending!!!

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  11. Margaret28 March, 2013 04:23

    The fogs fingers... yikes!

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  12. Mary28 March, 2013 14:34

    Love the way you ended it, causing each reader to conclude in his/her own way!

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  13. Hannah28 March, 2013 15:58

    The image here:

    "Thick/fog fingers?" Love that!! Great poem!

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  14. hedgewitch28 March, 2013 20:46

    Fog is always ominous--and when you combine it with an acidic appetite, I'm thinking you nailed the scary totally here.

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    1. Grandmother Mary29 March, 2013 00:13

      Thanks, Hedge, I enjoyed this one. Yours was amazing altogether!

      Delete

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