30 January 2015

All that Remains


We're left with
this: the hardness of 
bone, the space where organs 
used to be, life's music itself stopped,
silence reigns.


Tonny Maude has us writing cinquains expanded (5 lines with 3-5-7-9-3 syllables) over at dVerse Poets Pub. This is another in my bone poems series.
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22 comments:

  1. Anonymous30 January, 2015 22:49

    That is indeed our common destiny; but what then, if anything?

    Amazing that you have written something so full of meaning in such a restrictive form.

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    Replies
    1. Grandmother Mary31 January, 2015 00:06

      I liked your less restrictive cinquain form- thanks, Tony.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous30 January, 2015 22:53

    our physical selves will thus be reduced, but I have hope for more for my soul. Nice write!

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  3. Mary31 January, 2015 00:00

    Yes, this is reality indeed.

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  4. Rosemary Nissen-Wade31 January, 2015 00:06

    Oh dear,. I hope not!

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    Replies
    1. Grandmother Mary31 January, 2015 00:30

      I've been fascinated lately to write from the perspective of bones and this is part of that series.

      Delete
  5. Brian Miller31 January, 2015 01:54

    dang...this has a really sparse feeling to it...
    almost like relics of a past age...or past person...
    where there was once life...

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    Replies
    1. Grandmother Mary31 January, 2015 02:50

      I'm not sure what's so intriguing about looking from the vantage point of a past person but I find it so lately.

      Delete
  6. kaykuala31 January, 2015 02:13

    Eventually it will all come to that! Nicely Mary!

    Hank

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  7. Gabriella31 January, 2015 02:32

    Realistically powerful poem, Mary!

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  8. Anonymous31 January, 2015 05:58

    hopefully we sang a bit on the journey that others remembered

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  9. brudberg31 January, 2015 08:26

    The bones - a deep symbolism in those.. So much power in those words.

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  10. Susan31 January, 2015 15:02

    I cannot count this a failure. The bones, the spaces, the music to be echoed on and through themm.. A beautiful poem!

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    Replies
    1. Grandmother Mary01 February, 2015 15:23

      Thanks, Susan. I changed one word based on your feedback, failed to stopped, and like it and appreciate your thoughtful comment.

      Delete
  11. Grandmother Mary01 February, 2015 15:24

    It makes my heart skip a beat to get positive comments from you, MZ.

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  12. hyperCRYPTICal03 February, 2015 14:15

    Well done Mary, very well done.

    Sad that the music has to stop...

    Kind regards
    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete

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