30 January 2015

All that Remains


We're left with
this: the hardness of 
bone, the space where organs 
used to be, life's music itself stopped,
silence reigns.


Tonny Maude has us writing cinquains expanded (5 lines with 3-5-7-9-3 syllables) over at dVerse Poets Pub. This is another in my bone poems series.

23 comments:

  1. That is indeed our common destiny; but what then, if anything?

    Amazing that you have written something so full of meaning in such a restrictive form.

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    1. I liked your less restrictive cinquain form- thanks, Tony.

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  2. our physical selves will thus be reduced, but I have hope for more for my soul. Nice write!

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  3. Yes, this is reality indeed.

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  4. Replies
    1. I've been fascinated lately to write from the perspective of bones and this is part of that series.

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  5. dang...this has a really sparse feeling to it...
    almost like relics of a past age...or past person...
    where there was once life...

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    1. I'm not sure what's so intriguing about looking from the vantage point of a past person but I find it so lately.

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  6. Eventually it will all come to that! Nicely Mary!

    Hank

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  7. Realistically powerful poem, Mary!

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  8. hopefully we sang a bit on the journey that others remembered

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  9. The bones - a deep symbolism in those.. So much power in those words.

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  10. I cannot count this a failure. The bones, the spaces, the music to be echoed on and through themm.. A beautiful poem!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Susan. I changed one word based on your feedback, failed to stopped, and like it and appreciate your thoughtful comment.

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  11. Replies
    1. It makes my heart skip a beat to get positive comments from you, MZ.

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  12. Well done Mary, very well done.

    Sad that the music has to stop...

    Kind regards
    Anna :o]

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