Meltdown

It happened yesterday as my husband, John, and I drove to the beach for our morning walk/ run. It was over something small and inconsequential and had nothing to do with what was really going on. An argument ensued, of course, which got more heated until the real issues emerged.
I fell isolated when with Italian speakers (most everyone I interact with) and stupid not knowing the language except in a rudimentary way. I can't keep up any kind of conversation yet and I want to. I have so much to learn and these are the people who can teach me. I love talking and listening. I'm good at it, thrive on it. I miss it. How can I get to know my friends and neighbors? How can they get to know me? I have never had the experience of others communicating around me and me just being mostly silent. It feels so odd and lonely.
John said he saw an ad promoting living in Ireland and had the immediate response of "let's go!". I met a couple last evening from the US and they asked "why Italy?", "why Citta Sant'Angelo?". I looked at John as if to say "yeah, why?".
Through good talking with John and some writing, reasons emerged that are both true and that I decided I will share with those who ask (I haven't up to now): I'm called here for the next phase of my personal and spiritual growth and to craft my role as elder. Beyond that, I don't know and that's alright, however hard it is to experience. I'm where I'm meant to be and doing what I can to be fully here. It's all part of the work of this next phase, even if the reasons are obscure. I'm just where I'm supposed to be.