31 May 2013

When I Heard Your Lips


"When I first heard your lips define my skin"
it led me out, your sound true, your scent known
in ancient ways of knowing. As elfin
cloud forests cover dwarfed plants until crowns

of flowers emerge, sing their songs to all
and touch those bereft of color, so blown
to life was I. Your fingers traced maps, called
forth sight, showed hidden paths that might be flown.

Is love clear like that, smooth when ways are rough?
From whence comes this gift unbidden if not
sheer beneficence then bestowed pressed down,

flowing over for forty years, toughness
gone, not needed, love enough that I caught
your lips and let them define my skin, gowned.



In response to Victoria Slotto at dVerse Poets Pub who asked us to write a poem using synesthesia that intermingles the senses. *She gave an example poem by Jane Hewey- "I Let You In". I fell in love with Jane's last lines and used them as my first line.


32 comments:

  1. Beautiful poem - wonderful use of Jane Heweys poem- loved the lines 'Your fingers traced maps... K

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    1. I loved her lines and where they led me...

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  2. Your fingers traced maps, called
    forth sight, showed hidden paths that might be flown....love those lines...really cool play off jane, i recognized her line right away but you def took it places...and the rough sections they def are a part of the love if it lasts 40 years...smiles.

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    1. Rough and smooth are all part of it- it's been 40 grand years.

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  3. I love your response taking off from Jane's lines ~

    My favorite part is the ending, a tribute to a union blessed by an enduring love:

    flowing over for forty years, toughness
    gone, not needed, love enough that I caught
    your lips and let them define my skin, gowned.



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    1. I'm blessed to be part of this marvelous love.

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  4. This is lovely, Mary. I especially like-

    Your fingers traced maps, called
    forth sight, showed hidden paths that might be flown

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  5. That is so cool that you took Jane's final line and ran with it and look what came of it. Beautiful poem, Mary.

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  6. oh wow...40 years...that's awesome...very cool to start your poem with jane's line and really like where you go from there...the fingers tracing maps...gorgeous..

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  7. Mary, this is really lovely and I like how you book-ended between Jane's line.

    Pamela

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    1. Thanks, Pamela, and glad you stopped by.

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  8. Mary,
    This is a compliment of the highest degree. I feel honored. Your poem speaks to me of emergence, maturity, and "toughness/gone" You let us hear of the permission you've given for the lips to define your skin, which speaks to me of self-love and trust. THis is lovely for all of its intricate parts. I especially love "blown to life was I" --absolutely delightful. thank you.

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    1. Thank you for the inspiration and that gorgeous line. It sparked the rest. A love poem after 40 years speaks of so much more than earlier ones. I'm grateful.

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  9. I loved it, Mary. It's a love poem, truly. Thank you for sharing it with me.

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    1. We know about this love at our age, don't we?

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  10. Beautiful analogy with the Elfin cloud forests...that first stanza really caught my breath.

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    1. Thanks, Rowan, for your thoughtful reading. My daughter lives in the rainforest so I get to learn from her environment.

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  11. I am honored and blessed to share these 40 years with you, My Love!

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    1. It's been quite a journey, hasn't it?

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  12. This is beautiful! You are a very fortunate husband. You husband is also fortunate to have found you.

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  13. A beautiful poem - all stanzas - but I also was struck by the forest analogy. Thanks - one feels the love and passion. k.

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  14. I especially like your line breaks: between the first and second stanza, and the first and second line of the last stanza. Layered, thoughtful but not pensive.

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    1. Thanks, G. And thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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