Develop Curiosity

There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable.

A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet.

Pema Chodron
Tibetan Buddhist nun and teacher


A new friend, Christine, visited yesterday and shared a bit about her life journey. She came the day after I received this quote of Pema Chodron. And in a synchronicity, she seemed to me to be a good example of Chodron's ideal of one who has developed her curiosity, not knowing if the results will be bitter or sweet. Christine's been an artist, entrepreneur, furniture maker and wine sales person. She's lived in many places in the US, lost spouses, been seriously ill herself, worries about her sons in the states, relocated alone to the remote village of her ancestors in our region of Abruzzo and experiences all the culture shock that you can imagine that entails. But her attitude is upbeat, positive, and filled with the energy that comes from genuine curiosity. She travels all over Italy drinking it all in. She's fun and interesting to be with.

Chodron praises curiosity, exhorts us to develop it. Then sets up a stark juxtaposition- avoid pain and get comfortable vs taking an interesting, adventurous and joyful approach to life whether it brings us the bitter or the sweet. We just went through the laborious process of renewing our permesso di soggiorno (permission to stay) for another two years and smacked up against the bureaucracy that characterizes Italy. A taste of the bitter. But after five months and two attempts following submission of all documents needed to actually get them, we got them. By ourselves. In Italian. Without the letter we were supposed to have received in the mail setting up our appointment. A sweet outcome.

Our move here 2 1/2 years ago came from a desire to explore Italy and Europe. To experience a different culture, language, environment and history. It has brought in its wake the self-doubt, the uncomfortable, even painful experiences Chodron describes but also the joy that comes from doing something interesting and adventurous that expands curiosity in the process. Chodron uses a strange word in her juxtaposition- kind. Maybe that's her true wisdom, it's kind to ourselves and to others to develop our curiosity. It grows us and enables us to taste the world of another. Sweet.

Can You Relate?

I really laughed when I saw this on a blog! I was looking at a photo of my grandson, ever the curious explorer, and thinking that curiosity about life is such a great attitude to foster. Then I saw this and a blog idea was born! I mean, I like a clean house and I like to eat but everything else seems more important to me in terms of how I allocate my time. I'm not curious about cooking or cleaning and I am about so many other things. I live in Italy and want to explore Italy and Europe now that I'm here. So when I think about what I want to do for the day, or weekend or any stretch of time, it's not cooking and cleaning.



My husband does the cooking in our family and he reads cookbooks and magazine recipes, thinks about food combinations, plans meals, shops for the food and prepares delicious meals spiced with love. I don't, ever. When he's away and I run out of the meals he's left for me, (I know, I'm REALLY fortunate) I do something quick and easy, mostly salads.

My way around the cleaning is to keep our home neat, nicely decorated and homey. I actually enjoy going through home decorating magazines and stores and getting ideas to try. So, it looks clean if you don't look too close. Good enough for me. Of course, when company is coming or when it really needs it, we clean the house together, but quickly, and move on to other more important activities.

Current activities more important than cooking and cleaning: reading, writing, talking with family, talking with friends, outings with family or friends, walking, running, hiking, gardening, going to the beach, going for adventures of any sort, traveling, exploring, seeing new places... well, you get the picture!

Is it a case of defective girl genes or do other women resonate with this?

Practice Curiosity

I just read a wonderful article by Alexander Green in "Spiritual Wealth" in praise of curiosity. He describes curiosity as as essential attitude toward living and a lust for learning. Curiosity urges us to seek new friends and experiences and to pay attention to all that's going on around us and, more importantly, why.
You know when you read or hear something and your mind goes tilt? Something that organizes the world differently and makes you feel better about yourself? I had that kind of reaction. I love it when that happens.
Of course it covered the obvious facts about curiosity driving explorers of all sorts and even our own greatest discoveries coming from our giving up our status quo. But he also had fresh insights like his challenge to practice curiosity. It reminded me of my grandson's favorite refrain when he was 3: "Let's go have an adventure!" It makes life fascinating! Do we have to lose that as we get older?
Curiosity keeps us in love with life. It opens our minds to other ways of looking at something and it opens our lives by our trying something new. Curious people are fun to be around. Their interest in the world or in us shines through.
I remember a communication workshop that John and I went to years ago where the presenter advocated a way of resolving conflict. He asked the question: "Do you want to keep defending yourself or do you want to learn something new?" I've thought about that ever since and although in some arguments I really really really want to defend, ultimately, it profits us, and even me, to learn. 36 years later (August 11 is our anniversary), I'm still learning and ever so glad to be. It occurs to me as a result that marriage gives me a unique way to see the world through such wholly different eyes. How rich!
So let's support each other in this ultimately satisfying was to live. Let's practice curiosity and get good at it! How have you done this in your life? Have you done something new, listened to a new opinion, seen something you've never seen before? Have you felt your energy increase in the process? Share it. Curiosity is infectious.
Let's be willing to experiment with our life. Let's go have an adventure!