A Magic Moment

It was a such a simple but magic moment: Early in the morning of August 15 on our way to a family celebration in Rocca de Mezzo in the mountains with another couple, we stopped at a castle in Celano. We were marveling at how large and beautiful it was as we walked around it. When we reached the back of the castle we saw an elderly woman in her 80's standing in front of a cafe with jewelry in her hand. We said "Boun giorrno" feeling the friendliness of the great feast day of ferragosto being celebrated all over Italy. She held out her hand and asked if My friend would help her put on her earrings and necklace. The simplicity of her trusting gesture was touching. She said she hadn't been able to wear her jewelry for 10 years because she isn't able to fasten it for herself any longer. But today, she too felt the specialness of the day and wanted to dress up by wearing her gold earrings and necklace.
Of course my friend helped her and we told her how lovely she looked. The woman then invited us in for morning espresso. Turns out she has run a local cafe for 50 years, never married and regaled us with stories about her girlhood in the mountains, including having to ride a donkey to Rocca di Mezzo to get fire wood. She wouldn't accept our offer to pay for the coffee and we walked away knowing we had just had a very special encounter- another Italian moment.
It probably made both our day, hers and ours. The 4 of us talked about it all day, marveled at the simple good we can do for one another and how we affect each another. We shared it with everyone (like now!). Sometimes you just know you've been part of magic.

Practice Curiosity

I just read a wonderful article by Alexander Green in "Spiritual Wealth" in praise of curiosity. He describes curiosity as as essential attitude toward living and a lust for learning. Curiosity urges us to seek new friends and experiences and to pay attention to all that's going on around us and, more importantly, why.
You know when you read or hear something and your mind goes tilt? Something that organizes the world differently and makes you feel better about yourself? I had that kind of reaction. I love it when that happens.
Of course it covered the obvious facts about curiosity driving explorers of all sorts and even our own greatest discoveries coming from our giving up our status quo. But he also had fresh insights like his challenge to practice curiosity. It reminded me of my grandson's favorite refrain when he was 3: "Let's go have an adventure!" It makes life fascinating! Do we have to lose that as we get older?
Curiosity keeps us in love with life. It opens our minds to other ways of looking at something and it opens our lives by our trying something new. Curious people are fun to be around. Their interest in the world or in us shines through.
I remember a communication workshop that John and I went to years ago where the presenter advocated a way of resolving conflict. He asked the question: "Do you want to keep defending yourself or do you want to learn something new?" I've thought about that ever since and although in some arguments I really really really want to defend, ultimately, it profits us, and even me, to learn. 36 years later (August 11 is our anniversary), I'm still learning and ever so glad to be. It occurs to me as a result that marriage gives me a unique way to see the world through such wholly different eyes. How rich!
So let's support each other in this ultimately satisfying was to live. Let's practice curiosity and get good at it! How have you done this in your life? Have you done something new, listened to a new opinion, seen something you've never seen before? Have you felt your energy increase in the process? Share it. Curiosity is infectious.
Let's be willing to experiment with our life. Let's go have an adventure!

Differences

Things I'm getting used to:
1. No clothes driers (they use too much electricity): Clothes get hung out to dry. It poses a little problem when living in an apartment since the (small) balcony is the only place to put the clothes rack. But, that's what I do. Of course, everyone else does too so it's just understood that's it okay to have your personals flapping in the breeze for all the world to see. In apartments with no balconies clothes are hung out the window. It's a common sight and a good use of all the sunshine we have.
2. Small refrigerators: food shopping is done daily or every other day in order to have what's freshest and in season. Fresh produce drives the menu. No need for gigantic fridges (they use too much electricity) and freezers. Open markets abound making local food readily available.
3. Bread boxes: bread is also bought fresh daily. Even the local chain supermarket bakes bread every day and puts it, fresh and crisp, in about 25 bins to be chosen by shoppers and cut to order by the woman who holds up large loaves like a hawker. It's always the longest line in the market.
4. Stores close daily at 12 or 1 until 4pm: it calls for an entirely different time management system to juggle this fact. I'm still figuring this one out and it catches me short more times than not.
5. Ditto eating dinner so much later and trying to get 8 hours of sleep and still be able to run early since it's so hot during the summer. Don't know how people who work do it either!
6. Making time each day to study Italian and still feel like such a novice in its use. It's just odd (and frustrating and sometimes isolating) to have a primary language and not be able to use it with most people.
7. Deciding what to do each day when work is not the organizing factor. The search for meaning in this new life phase is ongoing.
8. Distance from loved ones: I'm trying new things to keep in touch- regular emails to the grandkids as well as my daughter, facebook presence, blogs and blog reading, SKYPE, longer vacations when we get together. Any other suggestions?
9. The sheer beauty of where we live. It takes me by surprise on a regular basis.

Taking a Tour

We went on a tour of our town offered to visitors during the recent festa and loved learning more about Paese. Built in the shape of a fish, it is set amidst the hilly area of the province of Pescara, overlooking the Adriatic Sea and close to the peaks of the Apennine Mountain. Cittá Sant'Angelo is the quintessence medieval hill city of the Abruzzo region. The town contains an ancient culture and tradition visible through the architecture of the city. The monumental architecture of the churches and palaces blend with the poorer architecture of small streets, hidden passages and tunnels that are still part of the old borough. Add to that the piazas, courtyards, community theater, stores, restaurants, trattorie, apartments, villas and even a hotel and you start to get a flavor of this historical center. The city as it is today was formed between 1240 and 1300 after its destruction in 1239 by a neighboring power.
We wandered narrow streets and back alleys that we hadn't yet seen and saw the 6 churches that are in our small town. The oldest one, the Church of St. Agostino was built in 1314 on top of another ancient building and is located on the highest part of the hill of Cittá Sant'Angelo.
We walked on a part of a street built around 1008 that hasn't been changed or updated since. Imagine the history of the feet that have walked those same smooth stones!
It turned out to be a great idea- we came away with more knowledge and a deeper appreciation for our new home.

Welcome Home

We hung the treasured art pieces, photos and collected personal items yesterday and today. We commented on each of them, when we got it and where, how much we love each one. Where will it look best? Do we still cherish it? Some things got retired, some thrown out, some given away. The rest are just right. It's the final step in the moving in process that makes the apartment our home. We are in Italy 3 months and it feels more and more like home. We love our space, walk around touching things and sit contentedly surrounded by it.
We had friends over for dinner last evening and they commented on the relaxed but lovely feeling of our home- I knew what they meant. Made me very grateful. I felt happy as we walked in Paese last night and greeted friends and neighbors.
This morning as well as I found a new stretch of country road for my run. it's close to our apartment and has beautiful vistas around every corner. Olive trees, gardens laden with tomatoes, green beans and zucchini, grapes hanging down from the horizontal branches characteristic of our area. The ever present mountains were in the distance and clear today after the windsweep of last night that also cooled the summer heat a bit. It's a good place to call home.

International Evening

It was a simple invitation- "come to dinner" from a couple that we had met at our friends house and liked immediately. You know the kind- warm, friendly and interesting. So we went. Dinner was served outside since the weather has been warm (hot during the day!). Their garden was lovely and fragrant and the night air soft. Their hospitality was gracious- focused but fun.
What was amazing was the mix of people there. 2 Germans married to Italians, 5 native born Italians either spouses or boy/girlfriends of people of other nationalities, an Italian born and brought up in South Africa but now living here and married to an Italian, their 2 young adult children born in South Africa and now living in Italy, an adult child of the host couple who is Italian living in England and trilingual (Italian, German, English), his English girlfriend, his 2 teenage children who live in England, 2 Americans (John and me) and 1 little boy who spoke to his mother and our hostess in German and his father and everyone else in Italian!
What a fabulous evening we spent! The travels, languages, perspectives, experiences of those present made for fascinating exchanges. The conversation was stimulating, of course, and good natured sharing and laughter ruled the night. It was one of those evenings I so enjoyed that I didn't want it to end (and, indeed, it was almost midnight before we left). As we talked and marveled afterwards, I realized that this sort of experience was one of the dreams I had in moving to Italy. I hoped for the mix of people and cultures present this evening, inspiring and enriching all. Surely this inter-nationality is the future of our species if we are to survive and we had a tantalizing taste now. It was good, deeply nourishing.

Tradizioni in Festa

This week is one of the biggest yearly festivals in Cittá Sant'Angelo celebrating the relationship with our sister city in Sicily. The rich history of both are shown in costume, cuisine, theater and crafts. The parade on the first day was splendid with traditional costumes, instruments, music and dance of both provinces. The Sicilian horses in their finery pulled carts depicting the history of Italy in uniquely intricate and colorful drawings. Visitors fill the city and booths for food, art and crafts line the streets. It's very enjoyable and involves young and old alike. Some of the ceramics of the Sicilian province (near Mt. Etna) is made with the lava from that famous volcano. Gorgeous items hand painted with traditional designs are for sale.
Our city opens up areas not usually open to the public, for example La Antica Cisterna and enclosed courtyards. That cistern, by the way, is like an underground cathedral- huge and with arched columns holding water at some incredible depth. There wasn't information available about the amount of water held so it's left to the imagination of the observer. Since some of the buildings date back to the 1200s, the underground or inner structures are awesome. The sheer surprise factor makes for great fun and new appreciation of our city.
Every evening has plays, musicals, concerts or shows together with the sale of characteristic foods of both regions. The beautiful views in every direction while taking part in such a grand festa is one of the reasons Cittá Sant'Angelo is known by all as a "bella cittá".

View From My Balcony

The view from the balcony is spectacular the last few days. The sky is clear from a hum-dinger thunder and lightening storm the other night that washed the foschia ( a haze that's not quite fog) away. The remarkable blue serves as a perfect backdrop to the mountains that are visible down to the smallest feature which is amazing given that we can see the whole Apenine range. The sea on the east is such a lovely color, deeper than the blue of the sky and shaded with 3 distinct hues. I was reading at the table yesterday and got absorbed in my book. When I looked up it took my breath away.
Sitting in silence in the presence of this view fills me up, much like the workshop did, and gives me courage. I had my fist conversation with a friend to ask her about getting together to talk about what our role is as women elders. I had some trepidation doing it since we hadn't really talked at that depth before. But it went well and she said she had been wanting to talk at a deeper level with other women. We're discussing now about who we might include for our first gathering. It's a good start.