05 October 2011

Sex in Our 60's

Never mind Sex in The City, how about sex in our 60's?

Recently my Honey and I have been trying out new things to keep sex in our 60's fun and satisfying. As you know, there are challenges associated with aging that call for some creativity. We've made some discoveries that I want to share and I'd like to hear what others have found for themselves.

1. We're taking advantage of retirement's lack of time pressure to choose the best time of day for sex. Morning has won for us. Once I've really woken up (takes me longer than my Honey), we feel fresh and energetic but the daily "to do's" haven't yet taken over our focus as they do later.

2. It's never to late to buy nice lingerie. This year, I started a process of replacing my "functional" under garments with lingerie that I find lovely. By buying one or two items a month, it didn't hurt financially and at the end of the year, I have beautiful lingerie that I love to wear and look at and that my Honey likes to look at as well. On me. It's a little thing that makes me feel sexier.

3. We set up time to talk about how to improve our love making. We read before hand, free associated, said anything that comes to mind, and got lots of possibilities out before making choices of what to try. This is our time to experiment, indulge each other's desires and see how it feels.

4. If affairs can spice up a love life, why not have one with each other. Periodically. How would I dress if  meeting a lover? What kind of ambiance and what meal would I prepare? Or, since my Honey is the cook, where would I rendezvous with a lover? Why waste those wonderful moments, that exhilarating energy on someone other than our one, true love?

5. Speak well of each other in front of family and friends. I love and admire my Honey so I let others know. His most endearing feature today is his sending our family and friends birthday or anniversary
e-cards. He has a couple of e-card sites that he chooses from to make the card right for each person. He's thoughtful that way. And kind.

I interviewed my Honey on this topic to get a man's perspective and he had three suggestions:

6. Let go of inhibitions that you had, whether raised with them or culturally imposed. Carpe diem or do it while you still can.

7. If your partner is willing, explore fantasies you've had but not acted on up to now. If not now, when?

8. You get extra pleasure from giving pleasure to your spouse. Find a new way to give pleasure.

What have you found to spice up your love life?


  1. What an inspiration you are! Carpe Diem, indeed!

  2. Oh yes, let's talk about the good stuff.

  3. My guy is so private that he would be very distressed if he found that I shared anything in public, so I'll just say that love overcomes everything in long-term relationships. We've been happily together now for twenty years and he's seventy in a few months! :-)

  4. Love Muffin and I have been together for over 35 years - and married for more than 34. We keep it interesting. I love that you do, as well.

  5. Lauren, So what does Carpe Diem look like to you?

    Rosaria, It is the good stuff but I don't see many talking about this vital area of our lives. Perche? Let's talk.

    DJan, I hoped to open a forum to share about this oh so human area, but I understand what you say and smiled at your implications.

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  7. Lou, Congrats on 35 years together. And good for us for keeping it interesting.

  8. Inhibitions......I long to let go of them!

    Such a wise couple!

  9. Nanny, Some of them die hard, feel hard to let go and then, when they're gone, I wonder why I held on to them so long.

  10. Yes, indeed, you are an inspiration in many areas. I like your thoughts on "if not now, when?" I totally agree.

  11. This is so wonderful, Mary. I never dreamed that sex would get better after 30, 40, 50. But it did. And now you're telling me it can keep getting better. Mmmm.

    I had such BIG inhibitions, and I attribute them to my conservative Christian upbringing. I was ashamed even to be naked alone! Do you know what changed everything for me? It was spiritual renewal. As I became free spiritually, I also became free physically. I can testify to what wholeness means.

    Bless you for this post. And kindness, oh yeah. That's the best foreplay.

  12. Sally, The quote was from my Honey but I agree as well!

    Ruth, Thanks for sharing this. I, too, when I left the religious path to walk a spiritual path had good things happen, one of which was a whole new freedom with my body. I like that you attribute this to becoming whole. Makes sense. Yes, kindness turns me on.

  13. Yay for lingerie that's sexy AND comfy. Victoria's secret is great, and La Senza in the UK. I sent Sean the cutest card the other day, it was a photo of two REALLY wrinkly old people naked on the beach, kissing. It was so lovely. Wish I could find it online!

  14. Nan, I'd love to see that photo. That's my goal, too. See you there in the future!


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