Remember the scene in Beauty and The Beast where Angela Lansbury in a voice over sings:
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
I like this song because it rings true to my experience. It sings of the importance of one of the couple making that tiny first move, shifting the field, making a change. Until somebody bends, softens a bit, nothing changes.
When I can be the one to make that small change that changes everything, I'm awed by the difference it makes, by how my Honey lets me save face, by the closeness that results. Moments before, I'm thinking "I'm right, he's wrong and this time he'll eat shit, choke and die before I back down." But, somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember what happened the last time one of us shifted and how good it was.
Sometimes it's me who softens (even when I hate to), sometimes it's my Honey. And every time, for 38 years, it changes the dynamic to the point that we can hear each other a little more, understand each other a little better and move towards re-establishing closeness. Deepened.
What's true in the individual level is also true on the group level- political factions, racial tensions, religious differences, family discord- people maintaining rigid positions maintain the status quo or bring about worse, including destruction of one another.
Those that can soften their heart can start the chain reaction of change. Can make the world a better place. Can bring about healing. Can't they? What do you think?
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