Take Time for Inspiration

Last weekend I went to a conference entitled "Cultivating Women's Spiritual Mastery" led by 3 contemporary women spiritual masters from the Buddhist, Christian and Hindu traditions. They were the featured speakers and guest teachers. What a rare treat to receive inspiration and guidance from these amazing women each of whom has forged a unique spiritual path based on her heart's calling. They were, nonetheless, down to earth and fun with great stories about their work!
It was a packed schedule of talks, meditation, prayer, sharing, exploration and inquiry. 70 women attended from 13 countries. It was a good way to connect with like-minded women from Italy and beyond.
I think the most remarkable thing besides the sheer humanity of the teachers, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo, Sister Lucy Kurien and Swami Ambikananda, was their emphasis on service. They were very practical in having their beliefs inform their life work, manifest through work.

Some highlights for me:
> Become the one you've been waiting for.
> Listen to your inner voice in trust that she knows.
> What is to be born from you?
> You don't just stand for you but for all women who have no voice.
> Cultivate presence, even to uncertainty and ambiguity.
> Become your own point of reference.
> We must take up this struggle because women exist outside the power structures so only we can change them.
> Why are my daughters still in the street begging, or being stoned or burned to death, or left uneducated, or floundering not knowing their calling...?
> We must ready the next generation for spiritual growth and service not war and work.
> Our icons are important. What icons do we offer to women today? How can they see themselves reflected in all their glory and amazing strength?
> Devi is the divine feminine of god and the devi is being called today.
> We must come back to our true selves- good, kind and generous warriors.
> Conflict is within me not "out there". The fight is to leave behind the too little self and allow our full emergence into our warrior selves.
> The demons within are anger, laziness and too small a vision of myself.
> Share what you already have with others and realize you are on the path.
> Grandmothers' responsibility is to the 7 future generations. Share your love, be that love, share your flame. Get serious and take time for your own spiritual practice.
> We're not in competition with men but redressing the balance.
> Stop refusing leadership and giving it to men.
> Step up to the plate with urgency- the planet is dying!
> Set up times to get together and re-inspire each other.
> Our life must be our spiritual practice in order to transform.
> Emotions can lead to transformation. What are you going to do with this energy?
> Breath is the bridge to stillness.
> Gather women around issues, not around spirituality. Invite women from different groups to address the issue. Then go to work.
> We're not a fragile gender. We give birth to the next generation and risk our lives to do it. We're not weak.
> When you work from the known, you're in the ego. When you work from the unknown, you're in the divine. The ego never goes into unknown territory.
> Let's re-introduce spirituality even if we work out of the framework of religion.
> How do you change men? You change yourself.

It was a rich, challenging weekend. It was certainly on point for me at this time. They asked 2 questions of us on the last day: 1. What am I being called to do?
2. What can I commit to now?
My answers: 1. To craft a new role for grandmothers as respected elders in our culture so that we can bring our wisdom to the issues of our day.
2. Gather some grandmothers together and start to discuss how to do this individually and collectively.
It makes my hands sweat and my stomach tighten, especially since I live in a country where I'm still learning the language, but I can start with women who speak English too. And there's always online communication. I can start.

How To Make Someone's Day

One of the frustrations of the last 10 weeks has been the sporadic, spotty and slow internet connection we've had (or not had!). Well today that got fixed and what a difference! Everything had been taking great hunks of time to do. But we now have both a home phone and ADSL. I jumped on AOL and was on and off in minutes- same with Facebook and now the blog. What a joy to have it quickly and surely available. How fabulous to have an idea and execute it immediately. Made my whole day.
The nicest man from the telecom company was at our neighbors, had a tight time schedule but was willing to come over and look at ours (which wasn't working despite having been installed 2 days ago). Well he walked in, saw and remedied the problem in minutes and showed me what to do to register with the internet server. I told him he was my hero and how grateful I was. He smiled and even gave me a high 5! He also told me how to register John's laptop on his return from CA. He then refused any compensation. And he was able to do that because an electrician who was at our other neighbors came and set up a second live phone jack in our home office (which the original installers hadn't done). He did it willingly and wouldn't take an offer of payment. Have I told you how generous and willing to help these Italians are? Just two more examples.
Made me also realize how important we are to each other in this complex world. How the act of reaching out, both by neighbors and workman, and doing a little extra for someone can make such a huge difference in their quality of life. What a great example. What an important teaching.

Improvements

Things did improve at school. A couple of days later, another student was talking about something funny that happened and we were all laughing and talking and I was understanding most of it. Gave me hope.
Now that school is over I still set aside time to study since I have so much to learn. Today I set a hair appointment over the phone and went to the bank to pay a bill all by myself. It felt really good! I couldn't go much further than what I rehearsed but I got the job done both times.
People are very forgiving and try to help when they see I'm not a native speaker. There's this certain oh- I -get- it- you- don't- speak- the- language look usually accompanied by a smile that comes over their face. They get so kind at that point. It touches my heart and it helps.
I'm reading the newspaper (dictionary in hand) and listening to the radio. There's a classical station where the announcers speak more slowly and clearly. Very useful for me- plus I love the music! Movies are next.

Scuola di italiano

For the last 2 1/2 weeks I've been taking language lessons at an Italian language school in the historic district of Lanciano, a lovely city not too far from where we live. The 2 teachers are terrific and very patient with me. I'm not as patient with me and it's slow going at best. I feel discouraged when I forget today the lessons learned last week. Some days are better than others but if I'm tired, like today, it's a disaster! I want to communicate with those around me but I get so frustrated when I don't have the words to give voice to my thoughts.
Today I struggled with the word londra the teacher was using. Is it a verb I don't know, a noun not in my vocabulary yet or one of those impossible prepositions? I asked her and she said it's the word for london and she was really emphasizing another point altogether! We all had a good laugh but you can see how it goes sometimes. Everyone says:"Just talk with people and you'll improve." But that's the point- I don't know how to say what I want to say so how do I converse! I want to shout: "I can speak well in my native language, really I can!"
I sometimes think there must be some basic thing I'm missing that is the key somehow to having it all click into place. Meanwhile I slog on and do my homework faithfully. And now I'm panic stricken when I realize school is over for me the end of this week. I thought I'd be doing better by now! If this is one of the life lessons I need to learn- I don't want to learn it!
Maybe I'm trying too hard and I need to relax, keep talking and believe it will come. I look at others who have done it - if they can I can...I hope.

Passeggiata

Our italian neighbors have a wonderful custom called the passeggiata, the public walk or stroll. Each evening, or most of them, individuals, couples or families go to their town center, or the beach promenade, and stroll along. They greet one another, chat and catch up with neighbors and friends. It gets folks out and walking, it takes time, it slows the day down for the coming night, it renews bonds. They're is really no other agenda. How lovely.

How To Do Business

I'm not sure how to adequately describe the first meeting of our homeowners association. Since I don't yet grasp all of the language, it leaves me free to watch the process and this process left me flabbergasted! I said that italians like to argue but this was remarkable. At any one time there were always multiple conversations going and usually heated exchanges. If someone wanted to argue a point with someone else, they would just get up and walk over to them and argue it out. At one point, someone got up to show something outside and took 3 others with him! The moderator seemed nonplussed by the whole process and never called for any particular order.
I don't know how anyone heard anyone else but every once in awhile a vote was taken and people raised their hands pro or con as if they heard it all. Decisions got made, people seemed to still be friends, the moderator was voted in for another stint and people stayed and chatted more at the meetings end.
John and I just looked at each other wondering what on earth just happened laughed! We obviously have a lot to learn about italian culture that makes such a process the way to do business.

An Italian Moment

My dear friend of 22 years, Annee, has been visiting with a mutual friend, Richard, whom we met in Antigua. She wanted to find her grandmother's town, Santa Croce, in the next province of Molise to apply for her birth certificate. We're into having adventures so off we went with our map, Annee's newly acquired Italian language skills (from 3 weeks at school in Sienna) and our hope. With only one wrong turn, which ended us on a narrow dirt road where we met a nice young man who gave us directions, we came to a town close to her grandmother's and took a break to get caffé. In the town, 2 men argued about the best way to send us to Santa Croce di Magliano while we waited for our marching orders. Italians like a good argument and they were no exception! We followed the directions of the man who won and soon reached what turned out to be a good size town in this remote, rural province. Repairs are still being made on the damage made by an earthquake 7 years ago.
It's always a toss up whether or not places are going to be open after 12 so we hoped for the best as we located the Municipio at 1 pm. Well, it was open until 2 pm so Annee went in to meet Carlo to make application for the birth certificate. Carlo loved his work and took immediate interest in Annee's request since his mother had the same name as Annee's grandmother. "Hmmm, a curiosity" said he and went to work searching the large, hand written ledgers from the late 1800's. He not only found the right pertinent details but gave them to her then and there with his official seal. No application necessary- the real thing quickly and easily. She was walking on clouds as she came out with the precious document in hand and the memory of time with this helpful man. We had a picnic in her grandmother's town to celebrate and listen to the story.
John, in his sweetest and most generous self, suggested we go to Annee's grandfather's town 8 kilometers away since we were in the area. Anne was reluctant to ask this but was thrilled and off we went in search of another adventure.
When we got to Colletorto it was 3 pm and everything was closed up tight, including the Municipio. Scaffolding was everywhere from earthquake repairs in this town as well. Anne had resigned herself to just seeing his town as enough when we saw an open bar in the square. It had a gelato sign out front which caught my eye and I suggested we go there before our trip back (we've been doing serious gelato comparisons all over!). Anne tried out her language skills asking 2 local men about her cousin first and then her grandfather. She did great and they were talking animatedly in no time. After the mandatory argument between the 2 men, they told her not only was her grandfather's house still standing but that a distant cousin was living in it with his wife and it was a mere 300 meters from where we stood! "Go see it" they urged. Off we went and read the address labels on the mailboxes. Some were faded, however, and we couldn't find her grandfather's name which her cousin shared. We met a young man and asked him where the cousin lived. "I'll show you" and he pointed out #7. Annee rang the bell and a woman answered asking Anne who she was. When she heard about Annee's grandfather, her eyes filled with tears and she invited us all in.
Annee's Italian was put to the test as she told her story to Maria. Maria had been awakened from her mid-day nap and went to awaken her husband to tell him the amazing news of the visit of his distant cousin from America. Giovani is a retired teacher and was obviously thrilled at this rare event. We spent 2 hours sharing stories, history, language lessons, chocolates and making sweet memories not just for Annee and her cousins but for us as well. What a special thing to witness, be part of and get to treasure. Their gracious hospitality and warm, welcome was evident as just part of who they are. It ended in hugs and kisses and tears and thank yous all around. It was an Italian moment to be retold and savored for years to come.
It also made me realize the magic of being able to speak the language well and I signed up for intensive lessons myself!

Support Groups

I went to a gathering of women today who get together twice monthly to share caffé, ideas, pertinent info and general support. What a difference a support group makes! These women are from the US, England, Scotland and The Netherlands. All speak English and are fluent in Italian so they're great role models as well as potential friends. Made me realize for the umptieth time how important we women are to each other. How our support of each other enhances our joys and lessens our fears, both practically and emotionally.
I'm reading a book: "Grandmothers Counsel The World" by Carol Schaefer. It's an amazing collection of stories of 13 indigenous grandmothers who gathered in 2004 to teach, share their wisdom and reaffirm the right relationship of all things. It's so on point for my search just now and is speaking to me as another grandmother seeking my role as elder. These women, too, experienced the power of gathering together and speaking their truth to one another, supporting one another and directing their collective wise vision to their community.
This evening, John and I are dining with a "Slow Food" group that goes to restaurants that serve fresh, reasonably priced, local food served in traditional ways with local wines. It started here in Italy and has spread all around the world. What a great idea. What a great potential place to meet like minded friends.
Today made me hopeful, happy and grateful.