The Gathering

For ten years we've met,
the young women of our family
with two crones.
We've committed to each other,
grown closer, become friends,
as have our children,
three generations set the compass for change
in our lives, doing now
what will benefit seven generations hence
and relishing the journey,
our lives spiraled into new constellations.


The women in the photo above (my daughter and nieces together with my sister-in-law and me) just celebrated one decade of gathering together each year, spouses and children welcome, but with time set aside just for us to gather in a circle and re-connect. I wrote about it previously here and here. This year the next generation decided to take over the organizing of the gathering and expand it. They have some wonderful ideas. One decade has ended. The next has begun.

Offered for the G-Man's Friday Flash 55.

Celebrating Crones

This year marked our family's 7th annual woman's gathering of my daughter and 8 nieces with my sister-in-law and me, for a yearly circle of sharing and support. A bit about the wonderful history of this gathering is on my 11/07/09 post entitled: "The Gathering, 2009".

Each year we select a theme and this year's was "Celebrating Crones" (that would be us above!). For the first time the young women of our next generation did all the planning and carrying out of the day's agenda. It was a lovely "croning" ritual, a day of affirmation and honoring for me and my sister-in-law. I felt very special on the receiving end of their ministrations and deeply touched by their thoughtful words and beautiful ceremony.The 4 little ones of the 3rd generation even made our "crowns" to be a part of it all. A great symbol since Jean Shinoda Bolen in her book: "Crones Don't Whine" says that becoming a crone is the crowning inner achievement of the third phase of a woman's life.

This croning ceremony is a wonderful way to celebrate reaching this phase and I recommend it as a way to acknowledge our age  and wisdom and claim our unique place in the circle of our families and life.

I formerly posted a wonderful quote about crones from Frank MacEowen's book "The Spiral of Memory and Belonging" that bears repeating: "In contrast to these modern usages, the words 'crone' and 'cailleach' were traditionally associated with healing, wisdom, initiation into the ways of the Otherworld, and the stirring mysteries of the earth. The crone, sometimes appearing as the dark goddess, is the keeper of hidden knowledge and is considered a guardian."

Healing, wisdom, initiation, mysteries of the earth, keeper and guardian! Doesn't that sound luscious? We older women have become separated from this powerful place of ancient knowledge and energy. A ceremony can  inspire us to seek ways to reclaim this role which our culture sorely needs but is afraid of. Initiatory energy is about the importance of finding ways to mentor younger women that happens when we gather together to grow individually and collectively and support one another.


Crones are elder women, wise and powerful. Bolen in her yummy little book describes crones as "juicy"- full of zest and deeply involved in life! And Margaret Meade described this stage as women with "pmz" - post menopausal zest!  All the authors encourage finding new ways to be, become and benefit community as we listen to our inner wisdom. As we change ourselves and give ourselves, we change the world.

Bolen ammends the fourth prescription for how we change the world from:
1. Show up.
2. Pay attention.
3. Speak your truth.
4. Let go of the outcome. to: Pray for the best outcome.

These 4 simple, powerful goals have always seemed reassuringly doable to me and keeping it that simple has gotten me through some tough times when I felt paralyzed. My friend, Annee, taught me these when I was in such a time. I posted them on my refrigerator to read them each day to remind myself that that's all I had to do. She (and they) saved my life then and here they are again to re-inspire me in this new phase.

Bolen also says: "As spiritual beings on a human path, what we do at a soul level in the third phase will likely turn out to be the most important." This yearly family woman's gathering is part of what I do at this soul level. It matters deeply to me. It brings me joy. And I love each one of these amazing women! I savor my time with them. I'm grateful for my relationship with them.

What's getting you excited these days?

Thoughts From My Balcony

Our balcony was in sunshine this morning after my run. It spilled into our south facing living room, dining room and kitchen warming the tiles and us. But there is snow on the mountain tops in the distance. Saw a sprinkling the end of October but this is extensive and probably kicks off skiing season up there. It's beautiful on these clear days but I like looking at it in the distance rather than the up close and personal of Maine. I'm eager to know first hand what winter is like in this part of Italy. So far so good.

Been doing a lot of thinking about where to go from here with the profound experiences I've had and my involved family members have had in our yearly woman's circle (see previous post). I've been searching for a way to contribute to my community. In terms of what I'm passionate about- this is it. But how do I bring this to the wider community?

Support Groups

I went to a gathering of women today who get together twice monthly to share caffé, ideas, pertinent info and general support. What a difference a support group makes! These women are from the US, England, Scotland and The Netherlands. All speak English and are fluent in Italian so they're great role models as well as potential friends. Made me realize for the umptieth time how important we women are to each other. How our support of each other enhances our joys and lessens our fears, both practically and emotionally.
I'm reading a book: "Grandmothers Counsel The World" by Carol Schaefer. It's an amazing collection of stories of 13 indigenous grandmothers who gathered in 2004 to teach, share their wisdom and reaffirm the right relationship of all things. It's so on point for my search just now and is speaking to me as another grandmother seeking my role as elder. These women, too, experienced the power of gathering together and speaking their truth to one another, supporting one another and directing their collective wise vision to their community.
This evening, John and I are dining with a "Slow Food" group that goes to restaurants that serve fresh, reasonably priced, local food served in traditional ways with local wines. It started here in Italy and has spread all around the world. What a great idea. What a great potential place to meet like minded friends.
Today made me hopeful, happy and grateful.