06 December 2010

Happy Birthday, Daughter

In the moment before my daughter's full birth, after her head was delivered, and just before the next contraction to push out the rest of her, my doctor played a mean trick on me and said: "In your heart of hearts, do you want a boy or a girl?" "A girl" was my immediate response. And then she was born and my deepest dream, that I didn't know I had until that moment, came true. I'm sure I would have fallen equally in love with a boy should he have been born but it was Kelly that gifted my life. I have loved being her mother, not just the mother of a daughter although that zings through my body in its importance, but this daughter. Kelly Marie.

Her birthday is tomorrow and I've been in this funky kind of mood- being alone, missing John, longing for family together time and realizing the year is ending and it's time to take stock of my life. So I've been doing some of that. And Kelly was talking to me about her struggles over what the next step should be in her life. She's a good communicator that way, and lives so on purpose. I love that about her. And it seemed familiar. It made me realize that we cover some of the same ground again and again as we age, not in circles but more like a spiral ascending.

We follow our dreams, our spirits urging. We live our lives fully and with gratitude and then we stop every once in a while and take our inventory. How am I doing? Have I slipped into unhealthy ways of being? Am I doing what I need to do to grow? Have I grown bigger than my environment can hold and I need to find another? Or do I need to expand to fill the bigger environment that I've built? Am I being of service, giving of myself in ways that excite me as well as help others? What's the next way to do that?

Questions of a 34 year old daughter, a 64 year old me and, in our family, a 94 year old father. Questions that honor our responsibility to be true to ourselves and to love one another. I'm glad to be sharing this search with Kelly. She makes my heart happy. I hope for her a happy heart, too.


  1. A beautiful post, Mary, thoughtful and important. Happy birthday to your daughter.

  2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY my friend! Lots of handy-downs and some good books heading your way with the next caravan...

  3. Dear Mary,
    Reading your posts is a wonderful way of being connected when we are so far apart in distance. But not for long! What a lovely tribute to our beautiful daughter! Happy indeed was the day that Kelly was born to us!

  4. I love the way you put this: "We cover some of the same ground again and again as we age, not in circles but more like a spiral ascending."

    Happy birthday to your special girl!

  5. I am a few years older and have found that the need for self discovery is stronger than ever. Well written post about how we need to take stock every now and then. The end of the year is always a good marker for me. You are so very fortunate to have so many generations of family! My parents still live in my heart, but they didn't even make it out of their sixties.

  6. I was 30 years younger than my mother, and my daughter is 30 years younger than I. I take great stock in that 3 decade difference. A beautiful tribute to you all. Birthday Blessings to Kelly;)

  7. Live life on purpose... What a wonderful concept. I wish i had done more of that myself. I'm reminded of that line (John Lennon's, I think, Beautiful Boy):

    "Life is just what happens to you,
    While your busy making other plans."

    P.S. I love the little love note in the comments from your John.

  8. Thanks, Rosaria, Nan, dearest John, Lisa, DJan, Lauren (It's pervasive with us: 94, 64, 34, 4!), and Patti. Thanks for visiting and commenting.


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