To Boldly Go Where Everyone Else Has Gone Before

This is my niece, AnneMarie. She likes to wear stylish clothes with just the right jewelry accessories, keep her manicure and pedicure up to date in the latest colors and have a coordinating backpack and purse on her wheelchair. She enjoys music, word games on the internet, texting, emailing, playing cards and shopping. She works out with a personal trainer every week and uses her pool for exercise as well.

She shares a home with her Mom (my sister-in-law) who describes AnneMarie as a fun and interesting companion to live with. With extraordinary generosity she opens her home to family members who drop by at all times of year and, for the last 5 years, hosts our yearly family woman's gathering for all who attend (8 years now and counting). That includes her 2 sisters, 6 cousins, her Mom, of course, and me. Her Mom and I are two are the Crones of the gathering. Add in spouses and children and it's a large and growing group who love time together and time with AnneMarie.

This is the bumper sticker on AnneMarie's van.

Ten years ago AnneMarie was in a car accident on an icy highway and sustained a closed head injury which nearly took her life, left her wheelchair bound with right-sided weakness and spasticity and with speech that's difficult to understand. Nonetheless, AnneMarie's goal is to walk. It's an ambitious goal that has taken all these years of torturous re-learning to sit up, balance on her own while sitting in the wheelchair, strengthen unused and reluctant muscles, stand, balance on her own while standing despite weakness, a brace on her right leg and muscles that forget how to carry out the messages from her brain. She is undaunted by all that and behind her lovely, feminine demeanor hides a steely resolve.

When physical therapists said she had gone as far as possible and dismissed her, she found personal trainers who would support her goal to walk, who would teach her the skills she needed and help strengthen her muscles to enable her to do what she declared in our gathering 2 years ago she would do, to walk. She called it into being and did whatever it has taken to get this far. When my Honey and I together with our daughter and her family visited AnneMarie and her Mom in February, my daughter filmed this (less than 2 minutes) with my camera. (AnneMarie's personal trainer and personal assistant are with her.)

Perhaps you can tell how proud I am of AnneMarie. I'm glad she's my niece, glad she's my daughter's cousin, glad she's my grands' auntie. She's my teacher in her fierce resolve to set goals and do all that is humanly possible to meet them, to believe in herself, however broken, and her ability to heal, to believe that she'll find others who can and will help her. No wonder our family wants to be around her. You're my hero, AnneMarie. I honor and celebrate you.


p.s. Don't forget to always leave the handicap parking spaces open and remind others to do so, too - AnneMarie needs them to have access to the world we take for granted.

p.p.s. Thanks to my Honey for his technical support in getting this video upright from its sideways orientation that defied my attempts to right it.

Final Vacation Photos

It's hard to post about all that went on in a month once it's all over. But here are some favorite photos of  special times jockeying for remembrance.

Best friends for 37 years! Imagine our conversations after all these years, first as young wives, mothers, grandmothers and now as elders conscientiously seeking our place in the scheme of things. Such a friendship nourishes and sustains me on my journey. Our children are friends as are our grandchildren. How very special. Thanks for your friendship, Cindy. Here's to many more years of memories and helping each other grow.

Our favorite get away spot in Perkins Cove, Maine.

As is this, tranquil and lovely on this quintessential summer, Maine day.

Speaking of Maine, my favorite lighthouse in my favorite park to run, walk, beach and hang out in - Portland Head Light in Fort Williams Park, Cape Elizabeth. It's 90 acres of beauty across the street from where I used to live.

Also in Cape Elizabeth is the Lobster Shack serving the best lobster rolls ever made in the most glorious setting imaginable on wooden picnic tables surrounded by rocks and ocean. Everyone gets mesmerized.

I visit there with my favorite diva, good friend, great shopping companion and hostess extraordinaire, Margaret and her husband, Malcolm. They opened a whole new world in introducing me to opera when I lived across the street from them. I've seen them perform professionally numerous times including in  Dusseldorf, Germany last year. A great example of friends who enrich my life.

Everyones mood is lightened in such a setting, where we get back to the basics of family, friends and sharing food. My daughter and the grands got the giggles while trying to cuddle on a chair made of stone.

Here's the best symbol of the love around my niece's wedding in Florida - the cupcakes! See how each one has a different, personal decoration meant to be meaningful to the loving couple. It was remarkable to watch each be decorated with such attention, care and love.

I love watching friendships develop at our family gatherings, first among my daughter and nieces, and also among my grandchildren and their cousins. Somehow I see this as a shoring up for them against life's vicissitudes. A strengthening of this singularly important ability, the ability to form lasting friendships.

To say nothing of having all those aunties are in your corner, loving, supporting and cheering you on.

Cheering all accomplishments, including my great- nephew, who is on the autistic spectrum, learning to ride a bike by himself, without training wheels, while we were together. Was he proud of himself! Were we proud of him! Way to go, TJ!

There's lots to be grateful for. Sometimes it's good to review the photos and the memories and actually count those blessings. It's a long list...


What's top on your gratitude list?

The Importance of Aunties

During our family gathering, the various nieces and nephews (grandchildren to the 2 crones) have access to 8 aunties (there are 9 altogether) for endless entertainment, constant companionship and general dancing attendance on their every request. They obviously revel in one another and it's also obviously good for all involved. New people to interact with and learn from, new expectations to respond to, new games or activities to engage in. The energy (and noise) level goes way up and the fun times roll.  Parents get a break and grandparents aren't the only alternatives to them. Mornings become "let's pounce the aunties" to start the day with giggles and hilarity.

Next to my parents, my aunt Franny (out of 6 aunts) was the most important person in my younger years and I loved her dearly. She opened  a world to me different than my parents' world. She was influential in such a good way in my life. I think of her when I see this 4th generation cavorting with their aunties. I wonder which will be the life-changing relationship for each of them. Hooray for aunties!