The Gathering

For ten years we've met,
the young women of our family
with two crones.
We've committed to each other,
grown closer, become friends,
as have our children,
three generations set the compass for change
in our lives, doing now
what will benefit seven generations hence
and relishing the journey,
our lives spiraled into new constellations.


The women in the photo above (my daughter and nieces together with my sister-in-law and me) just celebrated one decade of gathering together each year, spouses and children welcome, but with time set aside just for us to gather in a circle and re-connect. I wrote about it previously here and here. This year the next generation decided to take over the organizing of the gathering and expand it. They have some wonderful ideas. One decade has ended. The next has begun.

Offered for the G-Man's Friday Flash 55.

What Role We Have

What role we grands should take fills mind and heart
these days, 'sides love them well, the roots of roots n' wings,
love fierce, connect to all who ancest'red them, bring
complete the circle with them the purpose, the art,
entire, achieved, concluded, free drawn, writ large,
us left breathless at the specter except to sing
our songs for them and attend to theirs gathering
pieces to swell the family trove with their charms.
It's not about them at all, of course, but us,
death's incursion that lies beneath all else
and stands in contrast to their upward slant,
throws us back to what we do with such
lives as we've been given in gen'rous grace, not false
striving to garner praise but pouring hearts 'till spent.



This poem actually was inspired by the dVerse Poets post of September 13 about sonnets. It was a generous and meaty article by Gay Reiser Cannon with lots of information about various kinds and structure of sonnets and splendid examples. I've been working on this since and finished it yesterday. I'm amazed that others wrote theirs so quickly. I post it tonight for Open Link Night at dVerse Poets Pub hosted by Claudia, an inspirational poet in her own right.
(photo taken on my recent trip to Ireland)

A Hopi Elder Speaks

Things to Do from a wise elder:

A HOPI ELDER SPEAKS

"You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered . . .

Where are you living?

What are you doing?

What are your relationships?

Are you in right relation?

Where is your water?

Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community.

Be good to each other.

And do not look outside yourself for the leader."

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, "This could be a good time!"

"There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are torn apart and will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water. And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, Least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time for the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration."

"We are the ones we've been waiting for."

-- attributed to an unnamed Hopi elder, Hopi Nation, Oraibi, Arizona

The Power of Love

My friend, Marian Van Eyk McCain, at Elderwomanblog wrote an insightful post on Earthpages on July 20, 2010 called "Getting into the Spirit of Green." She describes the overlooked but powerful force of love as the real reason for going green. I like her take on things anyway but this rang especially true for me as I revel in family and notice our collective efforts to change our ways to tread lighter on mother earth and teach our grandchildren the ways of more sustainable living. She relates these efforts to spirituality: "So it is time to bring our spirituality down to Earth and connect it to the things that really matter—peace, social justice, ecosystems, sustainability, the healing of a planet that is far too beautiful and precious to damage. Because we love it." And, I would add, because we love the little ones of the next generation and the next and the next...

We, The People

My friend, Ruth, over in Rumi Days and Sychronizing, wrote a thoughtful post today called: "It's a Puzzle." It got me to thinking about her observation that America is broken, needing reassembling into a whole again like a puzzle.

I've been living abroad in Italy for 1 year now and have started to see things from a different perspective and see our brokeness as a bigger phenomenon. We, the people, still see ourselves as separate pieces, whether states or parties in America or countries or religions world-wide, and that our job is to strengthen our separate pieces.

Surely our common good is instead furthered by our coming together. That the myth of borders in only that. That the way we become whole is to join together, not allow ourselves to be defined as separate. That the future, not just of America, but of all the world, is made secure when we, the people, find ways to unite, break down our barriers, treat one another with loving kindness and become whole. We, the people, do this one compassionate act at a time. So, let's do this together!

To all Americans, wherever you are, from my little corner of the world,

have a truly happy Fourth of July.

Theme Thursday: Triangle (2)

The first post (below) on the theme "triangle" is light hearted and fun. This, on the same theme, is more serious and heart felt.Please also see: Gay and Gray: An Elder Hero for Gay Humanity at Time Goes By.


Triangle Foundation of Michigan:

Mission Statement

It is the mission of Triangle Foundation
to promote equality and to secure
freedom from violence, intimidation and 
discrimination for LGBT persons
throughout Michigan.

 

Vision Statement

We envision a society characterized by a
strong commitment to universal civil
rights; safe communities, workplaces,
and schools; stable families; and
self-reliant LGBT individuals.

 

Sounds like a vision we can all debate and perhaps support, right? The kind of thing we might discuss in a variety of settings, maybe pro, maybe con. Theoretical. But what about when it becomes more personal? Then where do we stand? What about when it's our daughter or son, our granddaughter or grandson, our niece or nephew, our sister or brother?

 That precisely is why we must face our own biases, challenge our prejudices, educate ourselves with facts instead- because every LGBT individual IS a daughter, son, granddaughter, grandson, niece, nephew, sister or brother.  Or maybe they're ready to emerge and are listening to our language and beliefs, watching our behavior to see if they can safely do this with us. And if they only hear negative judgments, how will they trust us as loved ones they can confide in, and, more importantly, how will they think and feel about themselves?

 All our children and grandchildren are listening and watching. What do they hear and see about their present or future selves? 

Lovingly dedicated to Judith and Kim.

RSA Animate - The Empathic Civilisation

See with "First Eyes"

Your First Eyes

(Rumi)

...Ordinary eyes categorize human beings.

That one is a Zoroastrian. This one a Muslim.

Walk instead with the other vision given you,

your first eyes. Bow to the essence

in a human being. Do not be content

with judging people good and bad.

Grow out of that...

My grandchildren are bi-racial. Their father is Trinidadian with indigenous Caribbean Indian and African ancestry. Their mother, my daughter, is American with Irish and Scottish ancestry. Issues about people of color are, therefore, deeply personal. Today I listened to a 1997 interview on New Dimensions with Melody Ermachild Chavis, author of "Altars in the Street: A Courageous Memoir of Community and Spiritual Awakening". She lives in Oakland, CA and works in prisons with men on death row.

Her information was scary so I looked up current stats in Wikipedia. They're scarier. The USA has the highest documented incarceration rate in the world, the highest total prison and jail population in the world- 2,304,115 adults and 92,854 juveniles. The number jumps to over 7.2 million when counting those on probation or parole. In comparison, England and Wales incarcerate 148 out of 100,000 residents, the USA 754 out of 100,000.

It gets scarier - 70% of prisoners are people of color. And nearly 1 million of those incarcerated in state and federal prisons are serving time for non-violent crimes. Men in jails swell those numbers even more since they are also usually non-violent offenders. From 1980-2008 the prison population quadrupled partially as a result of mandatory sentences that came about during the "war on drugs". This happened during a time when the violent crime rate actually went down 25%. California spends more on prisons than on education. Is this the best we can do?

These are our children, our future. Remember the line in Alex Haley's "Roots": "All your ancestors existed to produce you."? I think that when I look at my grandchildren. All my ancestors and I existed to produce them. They are meant to be here. I want a better world for them, where people see them with "first eyes". I want them to be able to develop their talents and make their contribution. I want them to be accepted, respected, recognized for the amazing people they are. I want them to know the freedom that I have known. I want them to be seen, really seen, not pre-judged.

Her's what I can think of to do:

- practice compassion
- do an act of kindness for 1 person each day
- look people in the eye, even the poor, homeless or immigrant
- see each person as unique and deserving of mercy
- volunteer- tutor a child, plant a community garden, tackle a problem, visit youth in prison
- wage peace
- believe that others can change
- be the change I want

Will you join me? What else can we do?

In Praise of Mothers

Since mother's day is Sunday, I sent a card to my father's companion thanking her for her love of and care for my father (age 93). We've had a difficult time establishing a relationship long distance (they live in Massachusetts) until the last time I visited in October when we double- teamed my father to make sure my mother's engagement ring went home with me. We laughed and bonded finally, completely and positively. Happy Mother's Day and thanks, Helen.

Being a mother is my all time favorite role in my life so far. I love being the lover and best friend of my beloved Honey, John, for 36 years. I love being his companion through life, journeying life's paths and having adventures together, growing and deepening this love we share. But all that became flesh when I became a mother. Love, springing from my body, fed by my body, part of me but separate, too. It's an astounding miracle.

It has challenged me and changed me and made me better in ways nothing else could have. Of course, I did have the good sense and great grace to give birth to my particular daughter to mother. She made mothering easy. Well, not always easy, but, on the deepest level, mostly. Because I fell so in love with her again and again at each life stage. "Oh, this is the best stage!" I'd say to my husband. Then the next stage would come and I'd say: "Oh, THIS is the best stage!". She was easy to love. Fun, smart, interesting- providing a way to see the wold from an utterly new and different (actually very different) perspective.

The challenge part of it came from those differences. She announced at age 3 when we had a disagreement: "Mommy, You think your thoughts and I'll think my thoughts!" I knew then that I was in for it! Through the years, I frequently scratched my head, was flabbergasted, wanted to change her or felt like I was in over my head in mothering her. Of course, that was the grace too though, because it opened up a world that I couldn't know and that only she could provide me. And it taught me such important life lessons even when I didn't particularly want to learn them.

I love watching my daughter mother her own 2 children now. She's a great Mom, very thoughtful in her mothering and I admire her. She has again opened up new worlds to me in her choice of where to live and what to be passionate about. She makes great efforts to include me in her children's lives and I'm grateful to her for that. Grandmother is my new favorite role. Happy Mother's Day and thanks, Kelly.

Thanks to all mother's today. Thanks for your bravery in birthing this next generation of our species. Thanks for all you do to nurture these unique, precious, unrepeatable dear ones. Thanks for your efforts to share your experiences in these blogs to support and strengthen another who might be faltering and need that contact from one who understands. It all matters. We all matter to one another. Good for us for reaching out and making our world a little more of a community. I'm glad to be in community with you. Happy Mother's Day and thanks.

The Next 7 Generations

More riches in my travels: My husband and I had dinner last night with a friend who is also a Medicine Woman. She talked about 13 indigenous grandmothers, some of whom she knew, gathering and calling for the healing of the earth mother and of each of us. Not just an important call now but imperative for our legacy 7 generations hence. Screenings of their film are taking place all over and we can make it even more widespread. The link is: http://www.forthenext7generations.com . As grandmothers they hold the wisdom of old age, the long view of old age and the love for children and grandchildren everywhere.

Surely, there can be no doubt we as a people need healing as does our earth mother. What will be our legacy 7 generations from now? How can we join together to multiply our effectiveness? Good questions. This film points toward some answers.

I have photos in my bedroom of my grandmother, my mother, me, my daughter and my grandchildren. It reminds me of my ties and my heritage. Who I came from, the family context for my daughter and her son and daughter. The sacred obligation to live on purpose with the knowledge that my choices influence my small world and my family as well as me.

Here's how I see job 1 right now: daily do the things that keep me physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy, connect with others who are doing the same, deepen the bonds with my husband, daughter and grandchildren, gather together yearly with my daughter and 8 nieces to address the hurt in our family and help heal it. I do all this in the belief that healing me and my family spreads out healing energy to the world that each of us in that women's circle then touches. Start with me and my family. There's so much healing to be done. The grandmothers point to other ways to be involved in healing, other important work to be done. I had been looking for what my next phase was to be as if it was something out there that I hadn't yet found. Maybe it is. But right now it's to do what's right in front of me to do. Me, my family and pay attention to what else comes my way.

I'm now planning with my sister-in-law, my daughter and my nieces what our next gathering (in July) will hold and celebrate. It will be our 7th gathering. I admire them and us for doing this simple, difficult, rewarding, and, ultimately important for our 7th generation, work. I like the perspective that my grandchildren's great great grandchildren will benefit.