Back Home

After three months on the road consulting at Crossroads in Antigua, visiting my daughter and her family in Trinidad, running a half marathon in Florida and, finally, touring this last week in Rome, I'm home. It feels good even though the weather is unseasonably cold (40's - 50's in the day). Being away puts home in an important perspective.

I had a good time away. I like winter in the Caribbean and Florida. I liked helping Crossroads further improve the world class services they offer, I liked training and running with my daughter for the half marathon for breast cancer treatment and research. I liked talking and playing scrabble with her. I liked the luxury of time in the every day life of my grands to play and talk with them. The days in Florida gave me precious time with nieces, great nieces and nephews, my sister-in-law and ten extra days with my daughter and the grands, as well as a chance to plan our yearly family gathering next summer.

My Honey was with me for about one month of the three giving me two months without him to think, write and have more individual alone time than I've had in our 37 years together. I liked it. It was time to mine riches. More about that later.

And I like being home now. I appreciate both my home and my Honey more deeply. I want to be here. With him. I like my life as we have created it. In this place. I don't yet know all the reasons I'm here, but I'm confident I will in the right time. At the end of my travels, I have a sense of peace and serenity that  sustains me. I'm grateful for this unexpected and altogether lovely gift.

The Gate To Love

I wasn't able to post on Valentine's Day (or since, but that's another story!) so I saved these photos taken in a friend's garden in Trinidad which reminded me of love.

 Love is a gate, isn't it? The gate to a whole other world - the world of our beloved. 

It's our opportunity to see things from a different perspective, from another inside- out as we can only do with a loved one. Who else would share so deeply? So personally? 

And we receive the gift of an expanded world, a change of mind, a jump shift in view, a way out of ourselves and into the stream of life, of love. 

We lovers are fortunate. If I can just say to myself: "What can I learn?" 

rather than "How can I defend?", then it's all just learning, and growing into a bigger self. 

Then joy awaits through this gate opened by love.

Thank you, John, for being my gate to a bigger world than mine alone. 

Thank you for loving me for all these 37 years with your sweet, constant love

and for discovering with me the wonders behind the gate.

It's been worth the risk, beyond my wildest dreams.

13.1 on the 13th

Want to have a great time doing something fun and worthwhile? I found a way to do that- train for and run a half marathon with my daughter, whoop it up a lot while running, and cross the finish line hand in hand yelling in triumph! This was our first run together and it was in the National Marathon to Finish Breast Cancer in Jacksonville, FL on February 13.

Since my sister-in-law and Kelly's aunt, Peg, died from breast cancer four years ago, I look for ways to honor her and help defeat this formidable foe. 10,000 runners participated, including 4046 runners in the half marathon, and raised money (and awareness) for this worthy cause.

The energy was electric! The whole city of Jacksonville gets involved and cheers the runners on as we run through neighborhoods and on the beach. They make outrageous signs, offer drinks and fruit and yell encouragement to the runners. great fun! Kelly and I finished in 2:44:01 hours, placed 7 out of 51 women in my age group, and felt good, deep down good.

Family members (nieces, grands, great niece and nephew, sister-in-law, cousins, aunts) converged in FL, also made fun signs, rang bells, yelled a lot and, just in general, cheered us on. Two of my nieces walked the half marathon and finished, a first for both of them, and made it a true family event this year.

What lights your fire these days? What are you doing to stoke the fire?

I Was Grilled

I arrived home today from my travels to Trinidad, Antigua and Florida to find my "grilling" posted by Lisa at Grandma's Briefs. Check it out - Lisa's blog is great fun, both her grandma stories and her enabling so many other grandmas to shine. Thanks for taking the time to share them with us, Lisa.

Rain Forest Flowers

Here are just a few of the flowers I've met along the way in Trinidad, some on hikes in the rain forest, some in my daughter's yard and some in a friend's garden (thank you Bunty and Rory). 

It's a beautiful time of year in the Caribbean. 

Please enjoy...

Croton

Another color of Croton

Clerodendron:

Butterfly lilly:

French kiss:

Locally known as the Snake plant:

 Red ginger:

Oxalis:

Agouma:

No one knew the name for this:

Costus sp., known locally as the penis plant:

Chaconia, Trinidad's national flower:

Poinsettia:

Heliconia; known locally as Sexy pink:

Aphelandra sinclairiana:

Angel's trumpet:

Orchid (they grow wild all through the rain forest):

Anthurium:

Ixora:

Crown of thorns:

Hibiscus:

Having my camera always with me this trip has kept my eyes open in a new way to this environment. 

It's been a visual feast for me. What's catching your eye these days?

Unhand The Bananas

The list of all I didn't know and am now learning continues to grow. For example, that the best way to ripen bananas is to cut the whole stem off the tree just before they're totally ripe. Then unhand (that's what they call it) the individual bunches (hands). My daughter is doing that above. Then put them in a box and put newspaper around them until they ripen a couple to a few days later. They are then succulently sweet, fully ripe and elegantly flavorful. 

Of course, many ripen at the same time, but I've got to say that isn't a problem as far as I'm concerned! Especially with these small, extra sweet ones, called chiquitos. Any over ripe left overs? Then it's banana nut bread and banana punch. Oh my!  Life is good and I'm swooning!

Something New for My Birthday

My daughter gave me an amazing present for my birthday; she took me to a remote, beautiful, 100 foot waterfall in the rainforest after our run on the 26th. I did something I've never done before to celebrate- I swam naked in the (cold!) waterfall pool.

Yes, I did it! I felt exhilarated! I embrace this life stage and look for ways to expand my horizons, push my limits and just try something new. It was fun (although I did yell a lot). Crones rule!

Gratitude galore to my blogger friends for your wonderful birthday greetings. You warm my heart.

Birthday Reflections

Oropendula, black birds with neon yellow tails and beaks, swish in and out of the immortelle tree in the yard. The tree's bright orange flowers seem more vivid against morning's blue sky. The oripendula have a distinctive deep, clucking sound unlike the chirps and trills of the other birds in the surrounding trees. When they fly off three or four at a time, their beating wings sound like softened helicopter whirls.

The sun is out and illuminates the wide, light green blades around the sugar cane growing next to the outside kitchen where I sit at the picnic table and write. Clouds and some of the left over morning mist gather at the top of the densely forested hills to my right. They cast shadows adjacent to the sunny patches making a quilt of light and dark on the ridge.The water tank to my left sprouts a mossy growth on its otherwise stark cement base. I drink sorrel punch made from the red sorrel flower. It's magical to me to drink flowers like some giant bee.

The birds have flown now, driven to cooler shaded spots by the tropical sun. Their songs are replaced by a flock of wild parrots flying oerhead with their harsh, remarkably loud cries. Have they no predators that they can be so loud and colorful?

Today is my birthday. I'm 65. It feels like a momentous age. Unlike the creatures around me, I'm aware of this life stage shift and I take stock of where I am and where I'm going. For years I've kept a self-discovery art journal inspired by my good friend, Annee. I take a few blank pages of this journal and pick out whatever magazine pictures or words that catch my eye and put them in a current moment snapshot collage. Or as Annee would say, whatever calls to me. I do this two or three times a year to visually represent what's up for me. It's always a meaningful process for me and I love to review these pages and see how they portend or document personal shifts and changes in my life. After my quiet time today, I did one and then arranged it on the picnic table in the outside kitchen since I don't have my journal with me. I like doing this. I'm not an artist but this fulfills my yearning to find other ways into myself through art.

The clouds on the hill have spilled down to me. I can hear the rain in the distance as it moves closer. In minutes the day has gone from blue, sunny skies to pouring down, drenching rain. The sound went from lovely to deafening as it pounds the corregated metal roof that keeps me dry. Minutes later, the sky clears and the sun reappears as if the rain never happened.

This peaceful day has taught me once again to show up, pay close attention and tell my truth. I trust all answers for this life stage will emerge from this.